3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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