I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize