You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
