ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
