i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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