I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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