i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize