maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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