Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
