Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
