There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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