His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
