Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
