That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
