Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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