that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
