Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
