i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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