I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize