Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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