Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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