I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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