Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
