Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Drunk is not a location!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
