Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
