i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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