I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
