youre lurking in front of me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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