i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
