I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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