census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
high people should be assigned attendants
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
