so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
