i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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