i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
