5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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