ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
