Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
