How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
