Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
