his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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