Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize