She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So many bounce houses so little time
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
