the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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