I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize