I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
