I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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