did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
