And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
