I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
