i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
