sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
