Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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