I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
