Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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