I bet he comes in French.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The chlamydia really affected his face.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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