Don't EVER smell your tampon
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
