all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
