keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Bring me that man meat
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
