You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He better not be in your backpack
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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