Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Screwed.edu
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize