I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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