haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
