i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
