To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
